January is National Mentoring Month. As I thought about the value of acknowledging mentoring, my mind drifted to my first job, filing paperwork at a local Insurance company and volunteering in local political races, folding letters, stuffing envelopes, and organizing by zip code. I was following the leaders, my parents. They count as mentor-like. However, they were still my parents, which meant there were rules and ways to act, either right and rewarded or wrong and punished. I’m describing 1969, the same year US astronauts landed on the moon. That was breathtaking, and I remember being glued to the television and mesmerized that human beings were standing on that white ball I loved staring at in the sky as a child. Could I do that when I was older, and who could I ask to find out? And that, my friends, is the first step in creating a mentoring relationship, either as the mentee or the one seeking mentees to uplift and champion as their mentor.
The 35th US President, John F. Kennedy, wrote, “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and enemy of growth.” His vision inspired scientists to believe in the impossible so vividly that flying in a spaceship to the moon transformed from fantasy into reality. What leaders believe about what’s possible can liberate or imprison imagination, creativity, learning, and manifesting. What creates leaders that liberate many who are in their proximity? That question is pondered and written about by hundreds of thousands around the globe, hotly debated by educators and business owners, and the question fuels a multi-billion-dollar industry for learning and development. My early opportunities to demonstrate I was capable, a quick study, and ready to contribute to the world set me on a path for growth. I’m deeply grateful to the many mentors who stepped on that path with me and shaped my learning and development.
The people born between 1982 and 1994 are referred to as Gen Y; that’s a terrific pun. The question “Why?” challenges the status quo and the conformity that limits growth. Labeled as “digital natives,” which is a fancy way of saying they are fearless with technology and the transformative power that partnering with technology delivers in any facet of human society, Gen Y redefines the workplace rhythm. Today, I am an educator and a practitioner for leading and coaching, and I have the honor of mentoring the next generations entering the workforce. Disruptors by nature, this generation inspires many of us to soften our grip on nearly a century’s worth of command-and-control business practices. To say that complexity and uncertainty fill today’s business environment understates the foundational shift that makes the singularity of command-and-control practices obsolete.
I love the discipline of setting goals and creating a plan to fulfill them. How I do this today differs significantly from how I learned four decades ago. Yes, technology has something to do with that. More important is the mindset shift over that same time, leading to my superpower, fearless intuition. Deliberate attention to our mindset matters because it operates invisibly through our habits, preferences, and biases. What we think, our routine actions and our beliefs about our relationships and environment form a set of filters, letting in some experiences and pushing others away. That looks efficient to some of you. That change constantly throws a wrench into the gears of our engine, and we generally don’t recognize this occurs until something tragic or highly disruptive stops our momentum. Such as getting fired, a family member or close friend dying, or an accident that results in bodily harm. In the stillness of recovering from these events, we reflect and ask, “Why me”? The answers aren’t easy to find until we change the question to ask, “How was I part cause or agent of what happened to me?” That question brings the elements of our mindset into view to consider that new habits and preferences may produce different and more satisfying life experiences. In that moment, learning begins, and growth becomes possible.
At its most effective, a mentoring relationship creates awareness by offering compassionate honesty. Sometimes, what I heard about my actions and behaviors stung a bit, and yet, it was not nearly as hard to take as the tragedy that led me to talk with the mentor in the first place. As I began to learn and grow, making new choices and creating new and better outcomes for myself, that mentor encouraged and challenged me to trust my mind and heart, rational thought, and intuitive knowing. Selecting the right mentor is like finding a compass that helps navigate the twists and turns of our personal and professional growth. Here are four tips to inspire finding and selecting a mentor.
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- Define Your Goals and Aspirations
Reflect on where you want to be in the future, both personally and professionally. What skills do you want to develop? What knowledge do you wish to acquire? Start by thinking about the next six months, then make it halfway through, add another three months, and make this a rolling practice of goal setting so you stay current with how change may occur. By aligning your goals with potential mentorship opportunities, you set yourself up for a transformative journey. - Seek Compatibility
Think of the mentor-mentee relationship as a unique bond, like two puzzle pieces fitting together seamlessly. It’s essential to seek compatibility with your mentor. Do your values, beliefs, and communication styles align? Look for someone with the expertise and experience you seek and who shares similar values and outlooks. A harmonious bond between you and your mentor will nurture a safe and trusting environment for growth. - Embrace Diversity
While compatibility is crucial, embracing diversity is equally important. Seek mentors who have diverse backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. This multi-faceted approach encourages you to leave your comfort zone and explore new horizons. Remember, growth occurs when we challenge our preconceptions and embrace unfamiliar territories. - Genuine Connection
Trust your gut instinct. When you meet a potential mentor, pay attention to the energy and connection between you. Do you feel inspired and uplifted after interacting with them? Are they interested in your growth and invested in your success? A genuine connection is the foundation for a transformative mentorship.Selecting a mentor is a decisive step toward personal and professional transformation. Embrace the journey, and trust that the universe will guide you toward the right mentor. Remember, each mentorship experience is unique, and every interaction is an invitation to change. Be open to learning, embrace challenges, and stay committed to your growth. With the right mentor, you will embark on a remarkable journey of self-discovery and empowerment. So go forth, find your perfect mentor, and unlock the limitless possibilities within you!
- Define Your Goals and Aspirations